Maxx's birth

My oldest son Todd met Dana in college and they married in May of 2004. I was glad that they decided to remain living in Madison, WI, so they wouldn't be too far from us

In the fall of '05, they became pregnant with a very planned pregnancy. Right away I began showering Dana with information and books to read. One of my favorite things about Dana is that, right from the beginning, she was always open to and interested in "natural living" - breastfeeding, natural birth, vegetarian eating, environmentally-conscious lifestyles. Although she was born in East Germany and immigrated to the US when she was 12, and had little exposure to these concepts, she readily embraced them from the time she first met Todd. So when she became pregnant, I found her very accepting of the ideas I shared with her.

Her pregnancy was uneventful. She and Todd made the decision in about her 4th month of pregnancy to have a homebirth and hired a wonderful nurse-midwife, Ingrid Andersson,from Madison, someone I admire a lot who does exclusively homebirth. And they asked me to be present at their birth as Ingrid's assistant. Naturally, I was thrilled to agree to this.

When Dana was 2 days before her due date, and I had a break in my birth schedule, we decided I should go over to Madison and stay with them, pending her delivery. For a week, Dana and I had fun doing "girl" things, while we waited. We also watched a lot of birth videos that I brought with me. At the end of the week, with no labor imminent, I went back to Milwaukee for 2 days, to tend to my own practice. Then I returned to Madison, again planning to wait, but it was apparent to me within a day that my presence there, just "waiting", wasn't helpful. I went back home and promised them I would come back as soon as she needed me. This was the 17th, a Monday.

All week we waited, and on Thursday of that week, Ingrid decided that Dana should have a non-stress test, to ensure that the baby was still doing fine in there. The NST was fine, but they also wanted to do a measurement of her amniotic fluid and said they couldn't do that right then because Dana had never had an ultrasound. So they scheduled their first and only ultrasound for the next day. That exam showed the baby to be just fine. When they came to the part of the scan where it would have been possible to see the baby's gender, Todd and Dana looked away. They had waited this long. They could wait a few more days!

That nite, Dana started worrying about the "what ifs". She had been so strong and confident during the whole pregnancy and "overdue" period, but this kind of thing eventually catches up with even the strongest of us. What if she would end up having to be at the hospital after all? What if the baby wasnt' OK? What if....... What if.........??? She had a good long cry in the shower and went to bed.

The next morning, Saturday the 22nd, 12 days after her due date, I got a call. She had awakened with contractions that were different than what she had been feeling before. They were sharper, more focused. Yes, she said, this is definitely the day. Should I come over right away, I asked? No, we're going to go to the Farmer's Market this morning, I think I'll be fine, and I'll call you when they get stronger and closer together.

So I took care of some errands I needed to run, and around noon, I called her back. "How are things going?" I asked. "Yes," she said, "they are definitely stronger and closer together. I had to stop and lean on Todd a couple of times at the Farmer's Market." Should I come now, I wondered? "Well," she said, "we're going to have some lunch now and then I think we'll lay down for a rest." Hmmmm, I thought; if she can eat lunch, she's still not in active labor. So I told her I would have lunch at home too, and then head out.

So after lunch, I packed up and drove the 90 minutes to their home. As I got out of my car in the driveway, Todd came out of their house to help me bring in my bags and told me that they had laid down to rest, only to discover that Dana didn't like having contractions lying down. Every time she had one, she had to jump up and lean over the side of the bed. And when she heard my car door slam, she had said to Todd, in a less than patient voice, "That better be your mom". It was 3:45pm

You see, that day, Ingrid had scheduled a huge homebirth picnic for all of her former clients. So when Dana had called and told her of her early labor symptoms, she had said that since she knew I was coming, Dana was in good hands and therefore she would still attend her picnic, but would leave anytime we needed her. And so, as I arrived, I was the first midwife on the scene and apparently, at just the right time!

I checked on Dana and her baby, observed some of her contractions (which were getting nice and strong now!) and did a vaginal exam. 4 cms! Time to fill the birth tub.

Todd and I left Dana to labor in her bedroom, while we went to their finished basement where the labor tub had been set up for about 3 weeks. We got the water going and I set up my equipment, just in case things would progress quickly. We lit the candles and closed the curtains, to create a safe, dark and private "birthing cave".

Around 5 pm, the tub was nearly filled and Dana's labor was progressing at a rapid pace. She was starting to ask about getting in the water. I called Ingrid and told her she should come now, and she said she was just finishing the picnic, and would go home to get her supplies and be over in about 45 minutes. She advised that we not have Dana enter the water yet, as she felt that women should wait until they REALLY needed to be in the water before getting in. So we helped Dana move from the 2nd floor to the basement, where she labored on the futon that was set up there.

Shortly before 6, Ingrid arrived. I told her that Dana, who was doing extremely well with her rapid and intense labor, had just said, "Oh,please, I just need a break..." , to which Ingrid responded, "Oh my - then she should definitely get into the water." Once in the tub, she was able to relax even more, and at 6:30 her water broke in the tub. She stared sounding "pushy" within a few contractions, and second stage started at 6:45.

My daugher Chelsea also lives in Madison and is very close to her brother and his wife. It had been the plan that she would be there for the birth, but once in labor, Dana wasn't sure if she wanted other people there. But at this point, we realized we wanted someone to bring over some video equipment that was at a friend's house; we would also need a photographer. So Chelsea was called and she began showed up just before the water broke with cameras in hand. Still, she didn't understand that her services were actually needed in the birth room, and was waiting upstairs in the living room. Finally, I said, "Where's Chelse?" and I went to get her. "Get down here!" I told her, and she said, "ME?!?!" "Yes!", I said, " We need a photographer!" So Chelsea joined us for her first birth, and took amazing photos, which you are looking at here. She isn't shown in any, since she was behind the camera.

Dana was a great pusher. She really listened to her body. And sometimes she would swirl her hips in spirals in the water, as we had seen done in one of the videos we had watched together. She sweated and moaned and grunted and very gently pushed her baby to the pelvic floor.

Ingrid hadn't changed from her picnic and was still in a summery dress. So she sat next to Dana and held her hand and spoke comforting words to her, while I held the flashlight and the mirror in the water. Dana and Todd watched as Dana beautifully brought her baby down.

When the baby was close to crowning, I noticed that Ingrid had not put on any gloves and wasn't making any moves to do so. Since I was the one with my hands in the water, I decided I should put on some gloves and be prepared. I offered the box of gloves to Ingrid, but she declined - her way of indicating that she was going to let me catch the baby. I gratefully accepted her offer. I continued to hold the mirror through every contraction until it was clear that the baby was about to come, then dropped it and moved my hands to support Dana's perineum. Dana had moved into a full squat at this point.

Yikes - crowning is intense!

Ditto

The head emerged and we asked Dana to move forward into a hands-and-knees position, so we could see better what was happening with the color of the baby's head and to be able to have better leverage if it was needed.

She obliged, and within a few seconds (30?), the body came out. The baby had a bit of cord wrapped around his neck/body, which I unwrapped, then "swam" him through Dana's legs and told her to reach down and take him out of the water. Ingrid was on the other side by then and was helping him get up and out. It was 7:35 pm

A little tricky to see: Dana's bum is toward us (blocked by my hair), Ingrid's arm is on the left, mine (with green glove) is on the right. Maxx's head is visible, pointing downward toward Dana's right foot (if you can imagine where that is) and facing Ingrid, and his right arm and hand are near the water surface.

Here, closer up: my hands, in green gloves, support Maxx and untangle his cord. He is completely out now, at an angle downwards to the left. You can't see much of his head, as it is obscured by the tub edge, but his arms and hands are clear. You can see the cord, a grey line around his belly.

Dana and Todd greeted their baby and discovered that he was a boy. All through the pregnancy, virtually everyone (with a few exceptions) had thought he was a girl, so we were really surprised!

Dana cradled him in her arms in the water, while Todd circled around behind, just outside the tub wall, and placed his arms in a posture of protection around his wife and new son. It was so sweet....

Within about 10 minutes, with the tub water getting pretty red, we were about to get Dana out when she felt her placenta coming. She pushed it out in the water,I scooped it up, and Todd cut the cord. Then we got her out, with baby Maxx in her arms, and had the family lay down on the floor next to the tub (with blankets and pillows for comfort).

Dana sat up to nurse Maxx for the first time about 10 minutes later and became VERY pale and dizzy. Oh my - looks like we lost more blood in the tub than we thought, I thought to myself. We spent the next 2 hours getting her stabilized. Ingrid was able to run some IV fluids into Dana to help rehydrate and replenish her blood volume, which was really useful.

By noon the next day, with gentle loving care, Dana was doing fine. Maxx experienced a few days of oral confusion, because we had been using our fingers as a pacifier for him when Dana couldn't nurse him. But by the end of the first week, he was nursing like a pro. And my son Todd has turned out to be the most loving, devoted father - I am continually amazed at his patience with Maxx. He will sit with him for hours, and when Maxx is having a meltdown, it is Todd who can put him in the front carrier and walk him until he falls asleep.

I stayed for 4 days postpartum with Dana and then returned home to my own life and practice. When I returned, I wrote a note of thanks to Ingrid for her loving care of my "kids" and for allowing me to be so involved with the birth. Her response to me brought tears to my eyes: "This work continually amazes me in its seemingly endless capacity for unfolding meaning and grace. Forces greater than we, it seems, conspired, to place your tools, your watchfulness, and your hands in a primary place around Dana, her baby, and Todd. At the same time, I was filled with gratitude to you for allowing me to partake in the picnic. I received many signs that Dana was completely comfortable in your presence, and the fact that her labor kicked in when you arrived was very telling of her fundamental trust in you as a midwife. I believe the videos you watched together, the crying, the extra time to remove some walls, all gifted her with that impressively smooth and rapid labor."